Remarkable

Why is it that I am the remarkable one?

People grow, they change, and they move on. They make new friends that often replace the old. There is nothing unique about growing up and moving on. It's a fact of life. It's an inevitability.

And yet...

I wasn't ready to begin college. I had met my two best friends barely over a year before, and neither was heading in the same direction as me--in fact, my very best friend was moving far away in the opposite direction. It's been one year. I'm just entering my sophomore year of college and already my friends from high school are moving to forget. It just freaks me out: change. I don't like to lose people. I'm horrible at gaining people, so I can't really afford to lose them. I have one friend in particular who is moving on and out very quickly and I am driving her nuts with how often I have my "oh my God, I'm losing you!" freak outs.

I haven't had the best experiences with change. My sisters left for college when I was entering my junior year of high school, and they really didn't come home at all. I'm guessing that's when my loyalty complex kicked in. You see, I have this thing where once I decide someone is a friend of mine, I am loyal to them. No matter what. I will defend them; I will support them; I will take a bullet for them. My sister told me once that I was loyal... to a fault.

Would not the world be a better place if people tried harder to hold on? I think it's sad that my "condition" should seem so exceptional. I find it a bit frustrating that my loyalty is considered a virtue rather than a regularity. Why is it that I am the remarkable one?