A Leap of Faith

I respect your decision. That said, if you could humor me yet another time, I would like to express a view on this whole situation.

I understand that you are not yet ready for this, and honestly, I'm not either. The thing is, if we wait until we're both ready, it will never happen. I think readiness could only actually occur if we saw each other every now and then in a non-meeting context. This really won't occur now that we're both in college (unless we run into each other at church, which is also pretty unlikely).

My point is that this is a leap of faith. Though, honestly it's not much of a leap. It's more of a sit-at-the-edge-of-the-pool-and-test-the-water-temperature.

I'm sure you have been told this, but I'm not looking for you to be my friend per se. I want us to be able to be civil (not that we aren't), and have a conversation if necessary. I want us to be able to be in the same room without an elephant sitting in the room too. I don't want our friends to have to worry about us coming into contact... especially since I broke down last time we almost did.

I'd also like to hope that this benefits us both. I would like to believe that my childhood mistakes won't haunt me forever. As a psychologist, I imagine you would like to believe that people truly can change. I think we should give this a whirl. Worst case scenario, it's bad and we go back to our non-inclusive college-student lives, we're back were we started, which is pretty much where we are.

It's a leap of faith, and I'd like you to leap with me.